Then I realise..

Then I realise I was the one who screwed up..
I was the one who held on too tight..
I was the one who squeezed too hard and things fell apart..
I've squeezed her so so hard..
So so tight I didn't realise I forgot to let her breathe..

Is it really over now? Is this the end? I don't want to let go..
But just then, I screwed up again..

I should not had jumped into conclusions..
I should had trusted..
I should had listened..
I should had learnt from mistakes..
I should had believed..

1 month ago I would had never thought we would ever enter this stage..
Where everything was strong..
We made promises.
We thought about life after all these.
It was US. Not you, nor I..

Can you remember the days we had? The days we held each others' hand through everything.. Through ups and downs.. Through the bumpy roads that we knew was coming but held on tight.. I was jealous. I was stupid. I was probably the worst boyfriend ever.
You tell me the love is gone.
You tell me love was not enough.
I am sincerely sorry.
I'm not asking you to come back no more..
But I hope you'd find a better one.
One that knows you better.
One that loves you more.
One that would not say the things I've said.
One that does not break down as much as I did.

I've did one of the worst mistakes in my life to had let you go.
I tried catching but it failed again.
Things you told hit me too hard..
I lost it..
Again I've sqeezed too hard
Again I've shattered the glass
Again I mis-interpreted
Again, I screwed up..
Maybe You're right, I can't change who I am.
I can't be who I said I would be for you.
I hope the next one will know better.

We will miss the days where texts were sent throughout the day to our phones.
We will miss the mails we had in our inbox due to the lack of communications.
We will miss seeing each other on the webcam.
We will miss the warmth we once shared among us.
We will miss the feeling of holding each others' hands.
We will miss doing stupid things in the shopping mall when its closing time.
We will miss driving around aimlessly trying to look for a place to eat that McD you wanted.
We will miss the days where we tried squeezing time for each other no matter how busy.
We will miss so many things we've done together..

Most of all I will miss you..

Atleast I will.